Hi Miggy,
thank you very much for having me in your blog. Though my English is not that
strong but I will try to express all my views and experiences in a good
way. If you find mistake, please do
correct it. My name is Balqees and I am
married to a lovely man Naseer Khan. He
is a mechanical expert. We have been married for almost 12 years and have 3
sons and a beautiful daughter. All my
three sons were born normal but my daughter Aroush Fatima was born missing her
right arm and both legs above the knees.
The doctors said nothing during my pregnancy despite of having
ultrasound for three times. After her
birth, the doctors were not able to know why this happened? But we are very thankful to our GOD for
giving us such a beautiful and healthy baby.
thank you very much for having me in your blog. Though my English is not that
strong but I will try to express all my views and experiences in a good
way. If you find mistake, please do
correct it. My name is Balqees and I am
married to a lovely man Naseer Khan. He
is a mechanical expert. We have been married for almost 12 years and have 3
sons and a beautiful daughter. All my
three sons were born normal but my daughter Aroush Fatima was born missing her
right arm and both legs above the knees.
The doctors said nothing during my pregnancy despite of having
ultrasound for three times. After her
birth, the doctors were not able to know why this happened? But we are very thankful to our GOD for
giving us such a beautiful and healthy baby.
***************
Miggy: Hi Balqees! You emailed me a while
ago about your daughter who also has limb differences. She’s beautiful!
Can you take me back to the day you knew your daughter would
have limb differences? Did you find out at her birth or before? Do
you remember how you felt? Can you compare those first thoughts
and feelings with how you feel now?
ago about your daughter who also has limb differences. She’s beautiful!
Can you take me back to the day you knew your daughter would
have limb differences? Did you find out at her birth or before? Do
you remember how you felt? Can you compare those first thoughts
and feelings with how you feel now?
Balqees: Well, when I got
the news of expecting for the fourth time, I was very worried because we didn’t
want another baby, frankly speaking. I
was not ready for another pregnancy because of some serious health issues like
blood pressure and obesity. I wanted to
lose all those pounds which I got in all previous pregnancies. But it was GOD’s will to give us another
baby. I did have ultrasound in fifth
month but the doctor told me nothing serious. I would say my pregnancy was going well except
having one issue and that was my high blood pressure. On my expected delivery date, we went to the
hospital, the doctor got worried after checkup as she said you have still high
BP and it would be dangerous to have a normal delivery. She said I should get ready for
C-section. It was shocking news for both
of us because I had a history of normal deliveries, why this time a C-section? Anyway she gave me one hour to get myself
ready for C-section. And the time came
to get ready for a major operation for the first time in my life. I kept myself normal to get anesthesia.
the news of expecting for the fourth time, I was very worried because we didn’t
want another baby, frankly speaking. I
was not ready for another pregnancy because of some serious health issues like
blood pressure and obesity. I wanted to
lose all those pounds which I got in all previous pregnancies. But it was GOD’s will to give us another
baby. I did have ultrasound in fifth
month but the doctor told me nothing serious. I would say my pregnancy was going well except
having one issue and that was my high blood pressure. On my expected delivery date, we went to the
hospital, the doctor got worried after checkup as she said you have still high
BP and it would be dangerous to have a normal delivery. She said I should get ready for
C-section. It was shocking news for both
of us because I had a history of normal deliveries, why this time a C-section? Anyway she gave me one hour to get myself
ready for C-section. And the time came
to get ready for a major operation for the first time in my life. I kept myself normal to get anesthesia.
After 45 minutes I came into senses and the doctor was having a
good news that GOD has given me a beautiful baby girl (I had a great desire of
having a daughter). When I got shifted
to my room, my husband and my mother in law (the baby was in her arms) were
waiting to see me. I wanted to have my
baby but my husband said wait and listen to me. I looked at him and said what? I could
see grief and anxiety on his face. He
said we are very lucky to have a pretty baby girl this time but there is a
problem with our baby. She is missing
three limbs. Oh no! What are you talking about? I don’t believe
this! How could this happen to us? I got my baby in my arms and checked all her
limbs. What is this? He was right. I cried and cried for hours. But
nothing could change the fact of my life.
My husband tried to console me and said we have to accept this fact as
it was a will of GOD. She was very
beautiful and had curly hair. She is
almost four now and very intelligent and energetic. She wants to walk like other kids but
unfortunately she still has no prosthetics for walking. She just has prosthetics like long shoes for
standing only. She is really a blessing
for us. We treat her like normal
children. Her brothers love her and
always very caring to her.
good news that GOD has given me a beautiful baby girl (I had a great desire of
having a daughter). When I got shifted
to my room, my husband and my mother in law (the baby was in her arms) were
waiting to see me. I wanted to have my
baby but my husband said wait and listen to me. I looked at him and said what? I could
see grief and anxiety on his face. He
said we are very lucky to have a pretty baby girl this time but there is a
problem with our baby. She is missing
three limbs. Oh no! What are you talking about? I don’t believe
this! How could this happen to us? I got my baby in my arms and checked all her
limbs. What is this? He was right. I cried and cried for hours. But
nothing could change the fact of my life.
My husband tried to console me and said we have to accept this fact as
it was a will of GOD. She was very
beautiful and had curly hair. She is
almost four now and very intelligent and energetic. She wants to walk like other kids but
unfortunately she still has no prosthetics for walking. She just has prosthetics like long shoes for
standing only. She is really a blessing
for us. We treat her like normal
children. Her brothers love her and
always very caring to her.
Miggy: You live in Pakistan and have explained
to me that since it’s a developing country you don’t have access
to the same technology we have in the United States.
Have you been able to get your daughter the medical attention she
needs? I’m also curious how people with disabilities are
treated in Pakistan. Is he generally treated with kindness or are
people with disabilities treated differently by society?
Of course there is ignorance
and unkindness everywhere, I’m just curious as to what your
general experiences are.
to me that since it’s a developing country you don’t have access
to the same technology we have in the United States.
Have you been able to get your daughter the medical attention she
needs? I’m also curious how people with disabilities are
treated in Pakistan. Is he generally treated with kindness or are
people with disabilities treated differently by society?
Of course there is ignorance
and unkindness everywhere, I’m just curious as to what your
general experiences are.
Balqees: Miggy, we have a
literacy rate of above 30% only. So the
people here are not exactly aware of rights of people with disabilities. As far as my daughter is concerned, people
have a lot of questions in their mind when they notice her. They feel sorry for such a beautiful girl. But generally, people treat her with kindness
and pray for us. People show their love
and affection for her and I am very thankful to them. Only one thing worries me is her education
and her future. I want her to go to
school but we don’t want to send her to school without prosthesis. And the experts here say she would be able to
wear prosthesis at the age of 6 or 7, which is quiet late. There is no such advanced technology for arm
and leg prosthetics here in my country.
literacy rate of above 30% only. So the
people here are not exactly aware of rights of people with disabilities. As far as my daughter is concerned, people
have a lot of questions in their mind when they notice her. They feel sorry for such a beautiful girl. But generally, people treat her with kindness
and pray for us. People show their love
and affection for her and I am very thankful to them. Only one thing worries me is her education
and her future. I want her to go to
school but we don’t want to send her to school without prosthesis. And the experts here say she would be able to
wear prosthesis at the age of 6 or 7, which is quiet late. There is no such advanced technology for arm
and leg prosthetics here in my country.
Miggy: Explain how Aroush’s needs affect your
day-to-day life?
day-to-day life?
Balqees: Well Aroush is
very energetic. She wants to do her work
by herself. She crawls with the help of her only hand quiet well. But she has a strong desire to walk like other
kids. She wants to go to swim with her
brothers and that is a big problem for her. We as parents try to overcome these problems
but you know she is quite young to understand all this. We just want to see her walking and so does she.
Sometimes she get irritated for not
going and running out for play like her brothers which worries me a lot. But I know she will walk and run one day.
very energetic. She wants to do her work
by herself. She crawls with the help of her only hand quiet well. But she has a strong desire to walk like other
kids. She wants to go to swim with her
brothers and that is a big problem for her. We as parents try to overcome these problems
but you know she is quite young to understand all this. We just want to see her walking and so does she.
Sometimes she get irritated for not
going and running out for play like her brothers which worries me a lot. But I know she will walk and run one day.
Miggy: What are the biggest worries you
face for Aroush?
face for Aroush?
Balqees: My biggest
worries are, as I mentioned before, the lack of prosthetic technology here in
my country. And apart from that I am
worried about her education and future life. I want her to get proper education and achieve
something in her life. I want her to be
independent and do her work without any assistance and help in her later life
when we wont be with her.
worries are, as I mentioned before, the lack of prosthetic technology here in
my country. And apart from that I am
worried about her education and future life. I want her to get proper education and achieve
something in her life. I want her to be
independent and do her work without any assistance and help in her later life
when we wont be with her.
Miggy: How can people best approach or respond
to your daughter? Is there something you
wish other people knew so as to avoid awkward or hurtful situations?
to your daughter? Is there something you
wish other people knew so as to avoid awkward or hurtful situations?
Balqees: Thank GOD we don’t
face people asking a lot of questions about her. When they see her, just ask
what happened to her? Is she disabled by
birth? My answer is yes and that’s all. I
try to discourage people asking questions in front of Aroush as sometimes she
gets scared. In some situations, I
request people not to ask such odd questions in front of her. Anyhow, people are very loving and kind to her
in general.
face people asking a lot of questions about her. When they see her, just ask
what happened to her? Is she disabled by
birth? My answer is yes and that’s all. I
try to discourage people asking questions in front of Aroush as sometimes she
gets scared. In some situations, I
request people not to ask such odd questions in front of her. Anyhow, people are very loving and kind to her
in general.
Miggy: I know from firsthand experience what a
special role siblings can play in your special needs journey.
Is there anything you’d like to share about your other children and their
relationship to your daughter?
special role siblings can play in your special needs journey.
Is there anything you’d like to share about your other children and their
relationship to your daughter?
Balqees: O yes, all my
kids are very loving and caring to her. They
really love her, especially my elder son. She is very much attached to her elder brother.
My second son used to ask about her legs and arm when he was young, that why
she is not having an arm and legs like us? But now he is 8 years and understands her
problems very well. I am grateful to my
GOD for having such loving children.
kids are very loving and caring to her. They
really love her, especially my elder son. She is very much attached to her elder brother.
My second son used to ask about her legs and arm when he was young, that why
she is not having an arm and legs like us? But now he is 8 years and understands her
problems very well. I am grateful to my
GOD for having such loving children.
Miggy: What is the
biggest lesson you’ve learned since becoming a special needs mom?
biggest lesson you’ve learned since becoming a special needs mom?
Balqees: Well I’ve
learned a lot from my daughter’s life. I
realize now how people with disabilities need our attention and our affection. We should encourage them to live a normal life
and should not isolate them from our life. God chose us to grow a baby with limb
differences and God would be right in His decision, no doubt. But I always pray to God to give us strength,
health and long life to take care of Aroush Fatima. She is a precious Gift from God.
learned a lot from my daughter’s life. I
realize now how people with disabilities need our attention and our affection. We should encourage them to live a normal life
and should not isolate them from our life. God chose us to grow a baby with limb
differences and God would be right in His decision, no doubt. But I always pray to God to give us strength,
health and long life to take care of Aroush Fatima. She is a precious Gift from God.
***************
Yes Balqees, she is definitely a precious gift from God. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful family, and especially Aroush, with us today. She is lucky to have such loving parents and 3 wonderful, BIG brothers! Like you, I know what it’s like to watch your child want more than anything to walk and run like other kids–sometimes it can be really hard. Like you, I also know that one day it will happen. And most days, that is enough. 🙂 Thanks again for sharing your story and your beautiful family. Please give those sweet children a hug from me.
As always if you or anyone you know would like to participate in the special needs spotlight series please email me at thislittlemiggy at gmail dot com.
Have a great weekend!
Thank you for sharing precious Aroush's story with us. What gorgeous children, and how lucky they are to have such loving and devoted parents.
Sharing about these families is a generous act. Thanks Miss M. xxx
Oh Miggy, this one made me cry. What a beautiful little girl, and such a strong mother. I'm grateful to her for sharing her story, and I'm praying that one day Aroush will get to walk.
This story brought tears to my eyes and made me so sad. Sad that they don't have the help in their country to help her right now. Is there any international help that they could get. This little girl and her brothers are just adorable. What a strong mom. Wish we could help her.
Great to see the enormous challenges that special needs kids in other countries may face. Though not children, I used to do board work for a small nonprofit called Shona Congo (http://shonacongostore.com/). These ladies with various mobility disabilities are raising their children in one of the most dangerous communities in the world, in eastern Congo (just the fact that they are raising their own children and are breadwinners for their family is amazing, but in a place where life is dangerous, too). They all managed to have kids, and immediately after had to flee their home and business. Theirs and Aroush's (and her mom's!) is a great example of human resilience and determination — so awesome! Thanks for sharing and reminding me of what we're all capable of!
what a sweet girl, thank you for sharing your story
What a lovely family. Thank you for sharing Aroush's story with us!
Wow! What an amazing familiy <3
What a beautiful little girl!
thank you all of you for your appreciation and kind words. God bless you all.