Friday, September 23, 2016

Spotlight Revisited || Aroush

Hi readers! Miggy here. Since I don't have a new spotlight today I'd like to pull one from the archives to feature again. As you'll see this one felt rather personal to me as Aroush is a little girl who also has limb differences. Also, this is one of the few spotlights featuring a family from a distant country--Pakistan. I was excited to ask questions not only about Aroush and her family, but what life was like for a person with a disability in a country that I know so little about. As you'll see Balqees, Aroush's mom, explains that they have a lot of the same concerns that most parents have but that she worries quite a bit about Arhous getting an education since they don't have access to prosthetics. Anyway, take a read and have a great weekend. XO Miggy Original spotlight can be seen here


Hi Miggy, thank you very much for having me in your blog. Though my English is not that strong but I will try to express all my views and experiences in a good way.  If you find mistake, please do correct it.  My name is Balqees and I am married to a lovely man Naseer Khan.  He is a mechanical expert. We have been married for almost 12 years and have 3 sons and a beautiful daughter.  All my three sons were born normal but my daughter Aroush Fatima was born missing her right arm and both legs above the knees.  The doctors said nothing during my pregnancy despite of having ultrasound for three times.  After her birth, the doctors were not able to know why this happened?  But we are very thankful to our GOD for giving us such a beautiful and healthy baby.

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Miggy:  Hi Balqees!  You emailed me a while ago about your daughter who also has limb differences.  She's beautiful!  Can you take me back to the day you knew your daughter would have limb differences?  Did you find out at her birth or before?  Do you remember how you felt?  Can you compare those first thoughts and feelings with how you feel now?

Balqees:  Well, when I got the news of expecting for the fourth time, I was very worried because we didn't want another baby, frankly speaking.  I was not ready for another pregnancy because of some serious health issues like blood pressure and obesity.  I wanted to lose all those pounds which I got in all previous pregnancies.  But it was GOD's will to give us another baby.  I did have ultrasound in fifth month but the doctor told me nothing serious.  I would say my pregnancy was going well except having one issue and that was my high blood pressure.  On my expected delivery date, we went to the hospital, the doctor got worried after checkup as she said you have still high BP and it would be dangerous to have a normal delivery.  She said I should get ready for C-section.  It was shocking news for both of us because I had a history of normal deliveries, why this time a C-section?  Anyway she gave me one hour to get myself ready for C-section.  And the time came to get ready for a major operation for the first time in my life.  I kept myself normal to get anesthesia.  

After 45 minutes I came into senses and the doctor was having a good news that GOD has given me a beautiful baby girl (I had a great desire of having a daughter). When I got shifted to my room, my husband and my mother in law (the baby was in her arms) were waiting to see me.  I wanted to have my baby but my husband said wait and listen to me. I looked at him and said what? I could see grief and anxiety on his face. He said we are very lucky to have a pretty baby girl this time but there is a problem with our baby. She is missing three limbs. Oh no! What are you talking about? I don’t believe this! How could this happen to us? I got my baby in my arms and checked all her limbs.  What is this? He was right. I cried and cried for hours. But nothing could change the fact of my life.  My husband tried to console me and said we have to accept this fact as it was a will of GOD.  She was very beautiful and had curly hair.  She is almost four now and very intelligent and energetic.  She wants to walk like other kids but unfortunately she still has no prosthetics for walking.  She just has prosthetics like long shoes for standing only.  She is really a blessing for us.  We treat her like normal children.  Her brothers love her and always very caring to her.


Miggy:  You live in Pakistan and have explained to me that since it's a developing country you don't have access to the same technology we have in the United States.  Have you been able to get your daughter the medical attention she needs?  I'm also curious how people with disabilities are treated in Pakistan.  Is he generally treated with kindness or are people with disabilities treated differently by society?  Of course there is ignorance and unkindness everywhere, I'm just curious as to what your general experiences are. 

Balqees:  Miggy, we have a literacy rate of above 30% only. So the people here are not exactly aware of rights of people with disabilities. As far as my daughter is concerned, people have a lot of questions in their mind when they notice her. They feel sorry for such a beautiful girl. But generally, people treat her with kindness and pray for us. People show their love and affection for her and I am very thankful to them. Only one thing worries me is her education and her future. I want her to go to school but we don’t want to send her to school without prosthesis. And the experts here say she would be able to wear prosthesis at the age of 6 or 7, which is quiet late. There is no such advanced technology for arm and leg prosthetics here in my country.


Miggy:  Explain how Aroush’s needs affect your day-to-day life?  

Balqees:  Well Aroush is very energetic. She wants to do her work by herself. She crawls with the help of her only hand quiet well.  But she has a strong desire to walk like other kids.  She wants to go to swim with her brothers and that is a big problem for her.  We as parents try to overcome these problems but you know she is quite young to understand all this.  We just want to see her walking and so does she.  Sometimes she get irritated for not going and running out for play like her brothers which worries me a lot.  But I know she will walk and run one day.


Miggy:  What are the biggest worries you face for Aroush?

Balqees:  My biggest worries are, as I mentioned before, the lack of prosthetic technology here in my country. And apart from that I am worried about her education and future life. I want her to get proper education and achieve something in her life. I want her to be independent and do her work without any assistance and help in her later life when we wont be with her.

Miggy:  How can people best approach or respond to your daughter?  Is there something you wish other people knew so as to avoid awkward or hurtful situations?  

Balqees:  Thank GOD we don’t face people asking a lot of questions about her. When they see her, just ask what happened to her?  Is she disabled by birth? My answer is yes and that’s all.  I try to discourage people asking questions in front of Aroush as sometimes she gets scared.  In some situations, I request people not to ask such odd questions in front of her.  Anyhow, people are very loving and kind to her in general.


Miggy:  I know from firsthand experience what a special role siblings can play in your special needs journey.  Is there anything you’d like to share about your other children and their relationship to your daughter? 

Balqees: O yes, all my kids are very loving and caring to her.  They really love her, especially my elder son. She is very much attached to her elder brother. My second son used to ask about her legs and arm when he was young, that why she is not having an arm and legs like us? But now he is 8 years and understands her problems very well. I am grateful to my GOD for having such loving children.



Miggy:  What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned since becoming a special needs mom?

Balqees: Well I’ve learned a lot from my daughter's life. I realize now how people with disabilities need our attention and our affection. We should encourage them to live a normal life and should not isolate them from our life. God chose us to grow a baby with limb differences and God would be right in His decision, no doubt.  But I always pray to God to give us strength, health and long life to take care of Aroush Fatima. She is a precious Gift from God.  

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Yes Balqees, she is definitely a precious gift from God. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful family, and especially Aroush, with us today. She is lucky to have such loving parents and 3 wonderful, BIG brothers!  Like you, I know what it's like to watch your child want more than anything to walk and run like other kids--sometimes it can be really hard. Like you, I also know that one day it will happen. And most days, that is enough.  :)  Thanks again for sharing your story and your beautiful family.  Please give those sweet children a hug from me.  

As always if you or anyone you know would like to participate in the special needs spotlight series please email me at thislittlemiggy at gmail dot com.  



Have a great weekend!  

4 comments:

  1. Miggy- this has always been one of my favorite spotlights. Have you had any updates on Aroush over the last 3 years?

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  2. That was very interesting to read! Just a note you misspelled the mother's name in your new intro :)
    I always learn so much from your spotlights!

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  3. Wow...that was way off! Thanks for the note. I made the correction.

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  4. RHrad..... Hi just to inform you that we are here in USA for Aroush's treatment. This is just because of Miggy's guidance. She guided me alot. I am so thankful to her.

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