I have a little less than 30 minutes to get some writing and thoughts out... so here we go.
Yesterday we got the text that we've been waiting for:
Congratulations! The homeowners agreed to the terms and the home is yours!
Or something like that.
The Mr. and I busted out the bubble (Martinelli's natch) and celebrated.
I AM excited and I DO like this house.... but this move is still coming with a hefty amount of trepidation. The poor husband has had to endure my fickle feelings and existential questioning more than one person should be subjected to. ...But is this what we really want? Did I choose this life? I feel like Cincinnati isn't what I would have chosen, but here we are. When I look at the life I may have wanted, I'm not sure this is it... then again, I have multiple competing wants and I can't have them all. I guess in order to fulfill some wants, I have to let go of others.... and maybe this want is the best want of all...I'm not blaming you, I promise... just tell me it's going to be OK.
He looks at me side-eyed, grabs my hand and says, It's going to be OK.
But like I said, I AM excited.
On top of it all I have so many things grabbing and pulling at my attention I am constantly starting tasks only to get diverted seconds later by another, more pressing task. I have to mentally run down a check list just to make sure I actually get the essentials done like, "change out of pj's before leaving the house" and "feed the baby."
My friend and I are still working on a prom dress for a girl in our church and friends, we are hand beading the bodice and it looks pretty rad, but also the part about hand beading the bodice, which in case you missed that means we are sewing beads and trim on by hand, is taking hours upon hours. And we thought we had 2 more weeks, but instead realized prom is this Saturday. And yesterday when she wanted to work on the dress during the day I was all, Oh I forgot that I'm having a dental procedure done and actually have to be sedated and B is taking the day off because I will be so loopy and out of it and I'm not allowed to leave my house. Which perfectly sums up my life lately. "I'm so busy that the really important thing I need and agreed to do is going to have to take a back seat to the other really important thing I really need to do."
And did I mention we flew out to Cincinnati last weekend for a whirlwind trip to see our new house? See I should have said that first when I was talking about the house, but my head these days is just a pin-ball machine bumping and jumping from one thought and task to the next because somehow it all has to get done.
Even the blogging must get done.
So here I am.
Oh and my baby? She's grabbing her feet already. I die. So cute (see photo above) and the best little airplane traveler you ever did see.
And when I once again was starting to feel nervous and unsure about our future in the beautiful, yet not-quite-exotic city of Cincinnati I just looked to my wonderful husband for that little bit of reassurance and pleaded, Just tell me it's going to be amazing and great, right?
Again he looks at me side-eyed but this time with a coy smile and says, I didn't say it was going to be great. I said it's going to be OK.
I'll take it.
Anyone else relate to this excited/not excited feeling? Anxious for change, but not sure this is the change you were seeking? But at the same time maybe it is the change you were seeking? How did it turn out? Just OK or were you able to make it great?