Sunday, February 03, 2013

The Joy of Painting



Last week I talked about how I use my time and what I really want out of it.  There are so many things that need to be on this list, for any fellow Mormons out there I'm always trying to improve in the area's of scripture study, temple attendance and visiting teaching.  None of those things are ever done are they?  Like, EVER.  But also at the top of that list is always more painting.  It took me a long time to admit it, but I have such a love/hate relationship with painting.  As a kid I would draw for hours and hours on end--mostly Disney cartoon characters--but still.  I loved it.  As I grew older and started to take art more seriously I suddenly found myself a little paralyzed by fear--What if my work isn't that good? Beautiful?  Meaningful?  Do I know what I'm doing?  I really enjoy doing my art-a-thon's but I'm also feeling the pull to be a little more consistent and not just producing work in short, quick bursts.  I want to feel the joy again, not just the joy of a finished product, but also the joy of the process.  In the past I've tried to make grande commitments, this time around I'm going to take it a little slower.  I thought I'd start with painting an hour a day for just one week.  I know it's small, but it's a start.  I ordered some turpentine and other products last week and am eagerly awaiting their arrival.  I started cleaning my space up last week and in the process ruined this brush... dangit.  But it made for a good picture.  Cleaning my space, ordering products, reviewing old notebooks... even the preparation stirs within me the excitement and longing that only painting and creating can fill.  Can you relate or am I the only one who feels this love/hate relationship with what I often view as my one true passion/life-calling?  Sometimes it feels a little counterintuitive.... thoughts?  


This picture instagrammed by Susan of Freshly Picked was also partly responsible for propelling me into all this thought on time.  Kind of  perfect.  I need one of those buttons!  



*****

*Also, you should still watch the video I posted on Friday if you haven't.  It's over 8 minutes, and I don't love the enquirer/gossip magazine tone, but I still think it's quite an amazing story.  

7 comments:

  1. I can relate. I'm just finishing up my BFA in Studio Art at BYU, and one of the biggest lessons I've learned (thanks to wonderful professors) is to make bad art and be ok with it. Creativity breeds more creativity. The more art I make, the more stuff actually works out ok.

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    1. Brittany--yes! It is so hard to be OK with making bad art, but pretty inevitable and important to be OK with it. Thanks for the reminder!

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  2. You should read "The war of art" by steven pressfield. It's the best for consistency and battling fear. oh that battle with fear.

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    1. Emilia--ooh, thanks for the recommendation.

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  3. you go girl! Everyone feels fear but just grab that old brush and start.

    I'm not a perfectionist and subscribe to the near enough is good enough theory. Stuff never works out exactly as I want but I kind of don't mind as long as it's done. My garden is a really good example of this. It doesn't look how I envisioned it, but it's mine and I want to make it work and it's practically one of my only creative outlets apart from cooking. And clothes. So I just keep going despite the fact that I garden in the Old Testament with plagues of locusts and similiar.

    I've been thinking about your spending time post a lot.

    It really resonated with me.

    x

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  4. This has been on my mind, not painting as art necessarily, but in my case movie making, though I am not completely convinced it is my life's calling, as of now. How do you know when something is your life's calling? I have so many interests, and at times some stand out more than others. --Mel

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  5. I just wanted you too know that I love your blog! I found it a few weeks ago after reading a sassy comment you left on CJane's blog during the whole wear your pants to church thing. Thanks for writing your blog and for doing the special needs spotlights. I am majoring in early intervention and love seeing the parents perspective!
    -Lauren
    http://dooneyandthegerm.blogspot.com/?m=1

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