Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Cleanse

my big girl jumping out of the swing


Day 3 of this cleanse started out as rough as day 2, when I was already thinking of abandoning ship.  But with my resolution pounding in my head strong, strong, strong I kept forging ahead out of sheer stubbornness.  In case you're wondering if stubbornness can ever be used for good, this is your example (that sentence was meant primarily for my husband).  And so it is on the eve of day 3 (forgive me, I think it's the Downton Abbey talking) I'm reflecting on what I feel this cleanse is teaching me thus far.

Ahem....

I've come to realize that I rely on food for pleasure and satisfaction, for that Calgon take me away feeling, each and every day.  And while I've refrained from sugar before, I would still turn to other foods (popcorn, breads) for my little moments of food-ecstasy.  Even in my early mothering days with PSP as I struggled to figure out this mothering gig and the fussy, fickle baby that was making it all so hard I would pop Dove chocolates like the edible sanctuary they were and think, this chocolate is the only fun/enjoyable/pleasurable thing I get to look forward to all day.  Almost 5 years later and I still use food as my mid-day retreat, my evening pat-on-the-back for a job well done.  I've always liked food, but it seems I've made it so intricately tied with the stresses of motherhood and every day life, that instead of a once-in-a-while indulgence it's become a daily necessity.  At the same time I don't think it's an entirely bad thing.  It's OK to love food and to want to eat good food.  Even treats.  I'm not damning the whole practice.    

But...

There comes a point where I need to be more aware of what I am eating and why.  Because sometimes a bowl of ice cream just isn't enough...so I have another.  And occasionally another.  And I realize I'm scratching the wrong itch.  Sometimes the small bit of joy found in a scoop of ice cream isn't what I really need.  Sometimes it is, but sometimes it's not.

Sometimes I need to do something creative, or be more present with my children, or have a good conversation with my husband, or call a good friend, or read a talk/the scriptures/something inspiring or just be by myself and think some good thoughts.  

I wasn't really expecting this from the cleanse, but I like it.  A little more awareness never hurt anyone.

5 comments:

  1. This is spot ON, mama! Well said.

    I'm just glad that you have the strength to carry out the cleanse.

    I'm not there yet.

    Great height on that jump, PSP!

    ~Bree

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  2. Yes!!! You articulated my love for food and my reward system perfectly.

    I'm on day three of no sugar and low carbs and starting to feel the headache go away and feel a little better. I'm too stubborn to stop too. yay for us!

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  3. Pretty amazing, Miggs. You + your ability to glean such wisdom from your cleanse. I am seeing myself go down that road, meandering between mindless choc-popping to full blown self-medicating with sweets. I think I've cleared the house of goodies by now, and if I don't buy any more I should be okay.

    And Downton Abbey!! (For several episodes I thought it was Downtown Abbey and that they were just saying it weird cuz they're Brits.) We got hooked on netflix and are now following season 2 on pbs.org. So good!

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  4. That is really insightful... I'm trying to be more aware of my habits (eating and other) and the motives behind them and this gave me a lot to think about. Thank you for sharing.

    I'm impressed with you. It's so easy not to even go there, or to back out once things get tough, but you did it! That's something to be very proud of. You can do hard things! Your new years resolution is off to a good start I'd say :)

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  5. P.S. add me to the list of Downton Abbey fans... it is so good and gets in my head too! I laughed at your reference!

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