Monday, September 12, 2011

Chop, Chop



It was Miggy...in the bathroom...with a pair of scissors.  


Saturday night, around 11:00 pm I decided I needed to cut my hair, right now.  So before I could talk myself out of it, I started cutting.  And I love it.  

Excuse me if I start making too much out of a hair cut, but for me this was a bit more cathartic than your average trim.  For a while now I've been itching for a change, which is funny since our whole life has been nothing but change.  New city, new house, new doctors, new car, new schools, new work, new friends, new scenery, new everything.  But it's been more of a me change I've been craving.  I couldn't pin point it, but I needed something.  The funny thing is I just got my hair professionally cut a couple weeks ago.  And I liked it.  I went back the next week to have her fix the back of my hair and while I was there I asked if she could add bangs.  I was trying to scratch that itch for change and I thought bangs might be enough.  And while they looked nice, it didn't really do the trick.  Then last weekend on our family outing I ended up doing a zip line.  Jumping off a 50 foot platform while attached to a wire was just enough of a thrill to help me feel out of my comfort zone and out of my daily routine.  Such a small thing but I told B, I really needed that.  I realized then that I've been needing an emotional change as much as a physical change...and I don't know about you but changing my hair is as much about how I'm feeling as it is about how I look.  I've really loved having long hair the past few years.  In fact this is the longest my hair has ever been and I loved it.  I was the girl who always wanted hair down to my bum, but it just didn't grow that long.  My pregnancy with Lamp really boosted my hair growth.  I've loved doing different on line hair tutorials like a braid halo and messy ponytails.  Unfortunately my post partum period with Lamp has also brought significant hair loss that I didn't experience with PSP.  My hair has felt thin and lifeless.  For every good hair day, I was having 5 bad ones.  My hair was blah.  Which made me feel blah.   

So Saturday night as I was listening to music I suddenly felt this rush of adrenaline.  I went to the bathroom with my ipad (for the music) and some scissors.  I acknowledged that I might regret it a little, that I might miss my long hair but that would be OK.  I can't have different and comfortable at the same time.   Then before I could talk myself out of it I started cutting.  And it was a rush.  Seriously.  My heart was beating faster than when I jumped off that zip line platform.  I was giddy with excitement.  Because here's the thing, yes I wanted my hair to be different and yes I wanted to feel different but I could have gone to a stylist and had that done professionally.  I didn't just need short hair or change, but I needed to actually do something that felt like me again.  Something spontaneous, quirky and daring...without actually being truly irresponsible or dangerous.  That's what I was really craving....me.  Moms don't chop their hair off in the bathroom on a whim at 11pm on a Saturday night!  Respectable grown ups get their hair cut in the day time from a trained professional who actually knows what they're doing!    

I just needed to know I was still in there.  And I am.   



25 comments:

  1. That was so gutsy! It looks super cute!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It looks awesome! (I used to cut my hair by myself all the time. But it always looked sucky. You've got more skillz than me!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love it. I'm so inspired because I've been itching to chop my hair off again. But I'm not gutsy enough to do it myself. You look fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Adorable!! Great choice, and I cannot believe you did it yourself. I always thought you had great wispy hair, and it really looks perfect with a shorter haircut.

    And...whatever happened to me calling you back? Oh my goodness, why is life so crazy? Maybe a little later today. Love u!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I LOVE it. It looks really, really great.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hoorah! You look great and this makes me want to cut my hair. (my hair is SOOO thin these days). I literally just wrote about my "needing to feel like me" post--only I don't think I put it as eloquently as you did.
    http://www.healthgirltv.com/2011/09/good-day-with-little-ridiculousness.html

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love it! Will you chop mine?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I too am an 11pm scissor wielding woman. I love being able to get a haircut at a moments notice and I would have to agree it is quite the rush. Whenever you get a compliment on your hair or asked who your stylist is, you can quietly smile to yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  9. So cute! I love it dearie! What a woman you are! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Linda P.4:26 PM

    It looks beautiful, Miggy! When my layers get too grown out, I occasionally do a bit of haphazard layer trimming on the top of my head to try to get rid of some of the flatness. I've also occasionally recruited my hubby to cut the length a bit. Oh, by the way, did B know you were going to cut it? What does he think of his new wife? ; )

    ReplyDelete
  11. Miggy! This is the coolest thing ever. I love the daring, spontaneous you, and BONUS: the cut looks amazing! Well done my friend.

    PS I got mine chopped professionally a few weeks ago (as you saw) and I go back and forth between kind of liking it and wanting to take my own scissors to it to do some more damage. Hmm, you might have talked me into it...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Brave woman! You look fabulous, more so with all that confidence in your eyes. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. You look beautiful! Yay Miggy!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Aw. thanks everyone. It's been fun to read your comments today because shoot! I feel good!

    And I should have put in the post that I actually started cutting my own hair in high school...so this wasn't the first time. However, it's definitely the first time I've cut this much off and completely changed my style....usually cutting my own hair amounts to a trim.

    Also, Linda P. --good question. No my husband didn't know! He was at the BYU/UT game. So I was doing this without his knowledge and perhaps that also fueled the adrenaline a little. So I took the trashcan with all my chopped off hair and put it in the front hallway with a note that said "I did it! I hope you still like me! --A"

    ReplyDelete
  15. Amy, it's PERFECT. You look amazing. And I totally get it, the itch, the desire for change- it goes deeper than just a haircut. As always, your writing really resonated.


    You are gorgeous and inspiring and I'm impressed with your skills! Seriously. Nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  16. you look AMAZing! LOVE it and wish I didn't make a goal to grow mine out cuz I'm just JEAL! Maybe bangs...?? Sometimes I feel like we are on the same wave length but you blog faster than me... which works cuz it'll kick me into gear! so yes. bangs. Can't believe you did it yourself! Looks like it has layers? Love love love

    maybe you should start a blogger holiday.. 'rebelious mom's who cut their own hair in the bathroom at 11pm' Day.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous3:35 PM

    Love the cut... it's a little "sassy"... just like you! And trust me, your "Sass"is the part of you that has made ALL of the difference for your little family, in SO many ways!

    You look stunning!

    Love, hugs & prayers,
    Mom

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love a good bob. You look so fresh and ready to take on the world. I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love it! So glad I found your blog (a while ago). I miss you. We had some fun times at the Y.

    ReplyDelete
  20. It looks super cute!! I've been giving in to the 11 pm hair-cutting impulse for a few years and it is very thrilling. Except that I want to grow my hair out, but instead I keep cutting it shorter and shorter--I have no discipline when I get to the awkward stage.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Awsome! Can't tell you how many times I've ended up in the bathroom with my sissors too! Change is good!

    ReplyDelete
  22. How do you turn such a normal thing as a haircut into a riveting, emotional blog post that I cant stop reading? Oh and I do LOVE your hair. But then again, you are gorgeous with any cut or clothes!

    ReplyDelete
  23. love you. darling hair.. you are always there.... somewhere.

    ReplyDelete