Sunday, May 01, 2011

More Questions: Part 1


My head is swimming.  This weekend was anything but relaxing and I'm still catching my breath.  
Also, do you ever just sit and think about all the things you want to do (sew, paint, keep up etsy shop, play more guitar, blog, learn how to coupon better, travel more, read more) and then all the things you want to be (a good mother and a great wife, be more serviceable, more kind, more patient) and you realize there just isn't enough time in the world to accomplish all of that?  At least not all at once?  And you have all these ideas and very specific things that you want to put into action asap (read Dandelion Wine, do another art-a-thon, make some tote bags and a baby blanket, finish those pillows, start new scripture reading program, read a parenting book, ideas for quilts, etc, etc) but again it just can't be done.  At least not all at once.  Especially not at the cost of the prized and most important day job: mom.  And so you have a head ache, and a little bit of a heart ache over it...and know that you've just got to sit down, prioritize, ponder, and figure it all out.  Yeah, that's what I've been thinking about lately.  Thanks for hearing me out.  Anyone else feel me on this?   


OK so more questions.  I'm going to start with the first question from reader B., which is funny because she's asking about my husband who is also referred to on the blog as B.  Here it is:   

My question is non-Lamp related, but I am wondering how you met your husband. I know you've mentioned an age difference before and I'm wondering how that has worked out for you, etc.

Oh boy...good question and good story.  There is a short answer and a long answer.  

Short answer:  We met on the internet.  

Long answer:  I had graduated from BYU a number of years prior and had stayed in Provo working for a local internet company.  I was 27 (which means in Provo years I was 35) a single working girl and really, truly loving life.  Of course I had the typical ups and downs and while I sorta joke about being well on my way to old-maidendom, I was really quite happy.  One day a co-worker of mine who was married said she wanted to introduce me to a couple of guys she thought I might like.  They were best friends and she wasn't really sure which one I would gel with more, so she wanted me to meet them both.  And here's where your remembrance of my husbands "entertainment days" comes into play...my friends husband was on the men's BYU volleyball team and the two guys she wanted me to meet were the ball boys for the team.  She said they were just funny guys who danced and entertained the crowd while being ball boys at the same time.  Well we tried to work it out a few times for me to meet them but it never happened.  My friend called me to see if I could come meet them after a game...nope.  And I invited her to bring them to a dessert party at my house...but it didn't work out.   At some point we just sorta moved on and months passed by.  One day I got a message from a guy on a site I happened to be signed up with LDS Linkup--which is like facebook for Mormons.  So this completely random guy writes me the following message:  

Two questions:  Is that a picture of you taking a picture of yourself?  Cause I mean it seems  like you could have any one of your fifty-odd friends take one for you.  And you could probably drink whole milk if you wanted to.  2-Do you like snakes.  

  
This was the picture on my profile:  


And this was the picture on his profile:
    

But there was also this picture which I happened to think was much cuter.  


For the record, those were not his snakes, but I thought it was funny so I wrote him back.  Then he wrote me back,  and so on.  We wrote several days in a row.  During this time he happened to mention volleyball.  His profile said nothing about playing volleyball, but it did say his height which is 6'4" so it seemed plausible that he might play volleyball.  So after a few days of writing I walked over to the other side of the office and I asked my friend, you know the one whose husband played volleyball for BYU, Do you know a guy named B_____?  Completely stunned she said, Yeah...that's the guy I've been trying to introduce you to for 8 months.  When I told her that we've been writing back and forth on LDS Linkup we both about fell over.   It was a complete coincidence.  (Or was it?.....) 

I wrote B and told him that I was the girl his friend had been trying to set him up with.  It was at that point we agreed to meet and go out.  Before then this was all internet flirtation with not much thought of going out--we were both pretty leery of the idea of an internet match.  We went out the next week.  Turns out we lived about 3 blocks away from each other.  It didn't take long for things to progress and within 8 months we were married.  Crazy.  But it was amazing.  We've talked about if had we met in a group situation like with my friend and others around, we might not have hit it off the same way as we did by going out one on one.  And the age difference....it's no biggie.  I was always super comfortable with dating younger guys--in fact I sorta liked it.  And B, well I was definitely the oldest girl he had ever dated, it didn't bother him either.  Just for the record I'm almost 4 years older than him.  

So that's our story.  Truthfully we used to be a little embarrassed about meeting on the internet, but 1) we've gotten over that and 2) I've always thought the whole story was actually pretty amazing.  While I don't always believe in meant-to-be-soulmate type of hoopla, I definitely can't help but think there was more than a little divine intervention involved in our love story.


Thanks B--Hope that answered your question!    
  

15 comments:

  1. Do u realize this is me and my hubs story? Execpt for the snakes and volleyball and we were in California instead of Provo. We were embarrassed about the internet too ( because this was before it was cool/ normal) but we are over it. Linkup was awesome.

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  2. Your first paragraph definitely hit home. I know what you mean and if you figure out a way to add about 4 more hours to the day, please let me know! Glad I'm not alone. :)

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  3. Love your story about how you and B met. Beautiful story, and I definity think Heavenly Father had his hand in your meeting :)

    I met my husband online too!
    He's 6'6, a rocket scientist, and 4years younger than me. We were a bit embarassed about the internet because at the time we met it wasn't so common, but now we stand proudly by it.

    Looking forward to more Q&A's

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  4. Anonymous6:51 AM

    I've been dealing with the first part of your post for years. I'm a crafter (sewing, scrapbooking, maker of all things), I love to cook, decorate, read, and so on. It's been such a struggle in my life, I know the headaches and I get anxiety attacks. There's nothing more frustrating than not being able to do what you want. I go on blogs of crafters who stay home with their children and they get mounds of work done, everyday. I marvel at their latest accomplishments and wonder how they do it. But I sadly had to give it all up. The stress was too much. I crave sewing but I just don't have the time. The only thing I've done, which I've had such little time for is scrapbooking. The one thing that I can look forward to and hold on to is that one day both kids will be in school, which is this fall. It's all you can really do. Something I would have done was to have my kids go to a babysitter one day a week but the cost and my not trusting issues changed that.
    You'll get through. Doesn't it bug you when people tell you or you hear people say they do all their crafting at night after the kids go to bed? I'm so tired, it wouldn't even be enjoyable, much less productive!!

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  5. Linda P.8:36 AM

    I can see why B commented on your photo way back when. Gorgeous!

    Oh, I so DO understand the struggles of so many wishes and so little time. I think we all need to be kind to ourselves and make sure we leave some moments to do things we really like. Otherwise, we may feel distressed and actually not able to mother as well as we would like to. Some days during Lamp nap time, just tell yourself that the dishes can wait and you are going to spend a wee bit of time doing something YOU want to do. Also, can B or a friend give you breaks by taking the kids out while you totally enjoy YOU time ALONE in the house? I LOVE those times! They refresh me.

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  6. Love the snakes, though it probably would have scared me away. I have a huge list of stuff I want to do, then I just sit and watch TV at the end of the day instead of doing any of it which is frustrating. Time and season for everything...

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  7. I LOVE your love story! Thanks for sharing. I had always wondered how you two came to pass :) There is NO shame in finding each other online. The Lord inspired the creators of the internet for multiple wonderful reasons--as evidenced by you and B coming together.

    By the way, you are GORGEOUS in that picture! The pictures of B are hilarious! He still cracks me up to this day, and my memories of him are 10+ years old!

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  8. Thanks for answering my question! I loved reading about how you met and figured it was going to be a good story (Does LDS Linkup even exist still?).

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  9. Totally with you on your first paragraph. I struggle with it daily.
    I read Dandelion Wine (Green Town is still one of my favorite fictional towns) and the preface is one of my favorite parts of the book, so just read that for now.
    Loved your love story on how you met B. I kind of had the same thing that happened with me and my husband.
    Hey, I know you are looking in SA for new digs. I don't want to butt in but my sisters live up by the SA temple and have great, fun friends in their ward. Just a suggestion on area if you're still looking. You'd kinda love them. I do at least.

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  10. That is a great picture. I was 25 when I married my husband during his 3rd year of dental school. (He was almost 26). We both felt old. We met in a singles ward.

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  11. I love that you always look so glam and then B looks so ... goobery. He's a cute goober, though!

    It's a great story.

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  12. I just really want that green shirt.

    (And I like your story too...!)

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  13. What a funny coincidence that you wrote about the whole struggle with having a long list of things you really want to do, but having to put them on the back burner. It reminded me that I wrote a similar post in March and didn't quite finish it, but I wrote a list of things I want to do when I have more time... on that list I included going to visit Justin and Stephanie and spend a wknd hanging out with them. It breaks my heart that we can't do that now... and honestly I just didn't know how to finish that post because the list has taken on new meaning to me now (priorities -wise). Anyway, I'm always amazed at all the projects you tackle because its not only a time thing for me, it's the lack of talent too! If i only had 1/2 your talent it wouldn't take me so long to cross things off my list :)
    p.s. going to visit you and B is on that list too!

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  14. I never knew how you two met and that's so funny. I actually wanted to set my friend up with him, because I thought that he was a catch, but she thought he was too tall. I'm glad you two got married, it always made me smile to see you together.

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