Monday, July 05, 2010

We're Home

One of my favorite big sister pics from the hospital...love this duo.


I've tried to formulate this next post over and over in my head, but I'm having a hard time finding the right words.  As down-trodden and as I'm-throwing-in-the-towel as I felt earlier last week, the joy and happiness have been equally measured out, if not more so, in our behalf.  To say it was all worth it, is an understatement.  But I'll say it anyway, it was all worth it

I've reflected a lot on the differences between this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Beanie--they were polar opposites.  With Beanie it couldn't have been a smoother, easier, stress-free pregnancy.  I had 1 ultrasound the entire pregnancy.  When I went into labor, I walked into the hospital, no epidural, not even an IV, and I had a baby in my arms 3 hours later (not to say labor wasn't very difficult, 'cause it hurt....a lot).  We stayed over night and went home the next day.  With Lamp...well you know the rollercoster.  Two threatened miscarriages in the first trimester, finding out about her limb abnormalities at 18 weeks, meeting with specialists, an MRI, at least 30-40 ultrasounds, being sent to the hospital 3 different times prior to birth--one time for an entire weekend, bed rest, breach baby, a scheduled c-section and to top it all off a nasty stomach virus 2 nights before the c-section. 

However, I would say the same has been true of the post-partum period as well.... complete opposites.  With Beanie I was a total mess within days.  I was calling the midwife and having some serious discussions about postpartum depression.  She was fussy and I found myself wondering, what did we get ourselves into?  It would be months before I would start to see the silver lining again.  With Lamp...so far I have been on cloud nine.  I could never understand why people liked the newborn phase until now.  While I couldn't wait for Beanie to grow up and just get bigger already....with Lamp I want her to stay my teeny-tiny newborn forever.  Each night in the hospital I was excited to see her being wheeled in for her feedings (darn right I sent her to the nursery).  So far she's been a sweet little angel--of course she's still very sleepy, but even when she's awake she just looks around in wonder and awe.  (Beanie never did that...if she was awake she was fussing).  Now I hate to sound like I'm comparing my children and giving preference to Lamp, because that's not the case.  Many things factor into something like this....with Beanie I was a first time mom and had no idea what to expect or do, she was fussy/colicky, and when it comes down to it you have no control over PPD and I don't feel guilty over something I couldn't control.  And truthfully, it's not like I think I'm out of the woods with Lamp--she could still be fussy, I could still get PPD.... but even just these first few elated, happy and joyous days have made it all worth it.  And again, I still have Beanie to thank in a lot of ways... she was a pioneer being sent into dark wilderness of being my first baby, breaking me in as a mom... that's not for the faint of heart.  

Additionally, when we received word that our little Lamp was having problems all those months ago things seemed pretty bleak.  I remember meeting with the first specialist and as we peppered him with questions about her condition and what it all meant.  I remember he said that there was a very real possibility that other than her limbs she would be fine and could very well be a baby that leaves the hospital with us after four days.  It seemed unlikely.  So unlikely that I actually got mad at him for giving us what I thought was false hope.  Yet here we are.  We're home with our newborn Lamp just 4 days after giving birth.  

So I guess this jumble of thoughts is just my way of expressing my joy and gratitude.  Thank you to everyone who has prayed for this little family and for our little girl.  She's home and we are now a happy family of four.

     

18 comments:

  1. That is an absolutely beautiful photo of your two amazing girls. I'm so, so happy for you. So glad the very best of the situation came to fruition.

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  2. Catherine10:37 PM

    I could not be happier that you are all doing well. I prayed for joyous times, and you are so sweet to honor the people praying with these bits of information.

    That picture is beyond darling ... what a treasure.

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  3. Looking forward to the journey....happy family. Lamp brings light.

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  4. I am so happy for you guys. I'm glad that you get to enjoy her at home. What a blessing she will be to you guys.

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  5. Anonymous3:03 AM

    Beyond Awesome!!!!!

    The Kimballs

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  6. I love reading your blog. I am so happy for you and your family. What a miracle, what a blessing!

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  7. De-lurking to say how thrilled I am for your family! Lamp is perfect and beautiful!!

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  8. i just feel like i have to keep telling you how happy i am for you every time i check out your blog. congratulations again!

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  9. I love to hear your thoughts and I am so happy for your family of four.

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  10. awww!! That pic is adorable. I'm so happy for you guys. I'm so happy to hear the changes from the first and second. Sounds like she is going to be a family blessing for many many years to come!

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  11. What a beautiful baby. I'm so happy for you. I've been thinking about you so much lately and was so glad that everything is going well... you'll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Jorja

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  12. Congratulations! BTW, Beanie is the spitting image of your man..only cuter because she's a girl.

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  13. Another de-lurker here. When Chelsea posted about you (you and your super cute maternity style!!) I was curious, so of course I came and checked out your blog.

    Immediately, I fell in love with your style of writing, your humor, (oh, your humor!) and of course baby Lamp's story. (I too have a child that was born with some special needs. Spina Bifida. He's 6 now, and rocks our world!)

    I am so happy for you and your cute little family! Lamp is beautiful, and will bring so much joy to your heart and lives.

    Congratulations!!!

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  14. The postpartum period can be so blissful or so difficult. I'm so glad it's the former with Lamp - you deserve a break! She is so adorable and really reminds me of beanie when she was a babe, maybe without the famous scowl.

    I'm so happy for you, Miggy. Sending lots of love your way!

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  15. aaaaahhh, miggy. i love that pic. i love beanie. and i love lamp. and i love you. thanks for putting it all out there, and doing it with style.

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  16. GREAT picture. So glad things are looking up.
    Also - random question but do you know about Blog2Print? We've been printing our blog annually for three years now & they're such great books! You've got so much here that I know will one day be a real treasure to the girls! www.blog2print.com

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  17. Yay! I hope the happiness stays and the PPD stays away! Congratulations! What beautiful girls! I hope this means you get to go over-seas!

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  18. Congratulations on your new addition! She is beautiful!

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