Tuesday, May 04, 2010

A Confession


a younger, more crib appropriate Beanie

There are some things us moms do that we just keep to ourselves.  Our little mommy secrets that aren't really that bad, but at the same time we don't necessarily shout them from the rooftops either.  For you, maybe it's letting your kids eat cereal for dinner 3 times a week.  Perhaps it's letting your kids watch TV while you sleep in.  Or maybe your such a naughty mom you bribe your offspring with candy if they promise to just. stop. whining.   

Or maaaaybe...it's the fact that your 3 year old still sleeps in a crib.  

Yep.  That's me.  Guilty.  

In all honesty this isn't something I really feel ashamed about.  Or at least it's something I don't think I should feel ashamed about...but for some reason I always feel like I've got to justify it to other people.  She's actually never tried to climb out...so lucky us!  And I mean hey, if it's not broke don't fix it right? hehe... And while these are definitely true there is still a part of me that feels like I'm holding her back in some way.  Although most moms I've talked to are like, Score!  You're so lucky you can keep her in a crib this long.  So again, I don't really feel bad...but when she's the only 3 year old I know in a crib there is a little wave of mom guilt that washes over me.  Admittedly my main reason is that with her in the crib I feel as though I still have some control over her sleeping habits.  This isn't entirely true otherwise I would not have made the night-night chart last month where she's been earning stickers and small prizes for going to bed well {ie not screaming, not asking for water, going to the potty, etc...it's worked well btw}.  But still, I feel as though I have more control this way.  And of course she doesn't really press the issue.  We actually talked to her about a big girl bed a while ago and after the initial excitement, she told us she wasn't ready yet.  The little stinker actually likes her crib.  

So I'm torn...if she's happy in a crib and we're happy with the crib should I really change it?  Should I especially worry about this before the baby's born?  We actually have a smaller crib for the baby, so she doesn't need to give hers up for the new wee-one or anything.  So mommy's of the world wide web...what do you think?  Big deal?  Not big deal?  Wish you would have waited?  Think a 3 year old in a crib is too old?  To each his own? Let me have it...  


24 comments:

  1. I plan on having my 4 year old sleep in the crib if it means consistent naps and sleeping schedule. Kidding, kind of. I still have Michael in a CRIB TENT if that's any consolation.

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  2. Hi Amy. I got your blog from, well, actually google- but if I hadn't found it there my Mom was going to ask your Mom. My Mom had forwarded us the letter from this last weekend so now you have a family in Las Vegas praying for you guys.
    As far as cribs- do what works for you...but since you asked if it were me I'd keep her there as long as she is happy! I hope my 2 year old will stay in until he's 3!! My oldest probably would have but we stayed in furnished housing over the summer for an internship and well, the bed they provided was more comfortable than the pack-n-play we had brought for him (and really those are MUCH easier to climb out of!!).
    Glad to have found your blog. You've made me laugh, cry, and contemplate in the last few days since I've found it.
    ~Cheryl-Lynn (Allen) Adams

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  3. My kids were all such lousy sleepers, I never wanted to transition out of the crib either. It was the only way they took naps! And went to bed at a decent hour! None of them ever managed {or tried} to climb out, so it was always the arrival of a new baby that made us finally switch to a bed. Even then, we did it slowly. I took the side off of the crib while I was prego, then got the 'big kid bed' and set it up in the room. Often, the kid wanted to try it right away. Once they had slept in the bed several nights, we'd take down the crib until it was needed for the new baby. But my kids were all in the 3 year old range when this happened, and it never seemed like a big deal because I was always more embarrassed by the fact that they still had pacifiers. Those were MUCH harder to get rid of! I guess 3 years old was a big year for my kids. :)

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  4. I am one of Alissa's friends. I stopped by here to check out your play kitchen on her recommendation and read this. I have four kids and my three year old still sleeps in her crib because she is happy to be there. Until she asks for a "big girl bed" I have no plans on moving her.

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  5. Well thanks ladies...I feel better already.

    I'm glad to know there are quite a few 3 year olds in cribs.

    Guilt assuaged.

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  6. Crib shmib. Do NOT feel guilty about that! A bed is a bed, you know? And especially if you have a little crib for Lamp, you're fine. If she likes it, why not let her keep it. Moving to a big girl bed is a bit anti-climactic. It's not all that different. So, if she's cozy in her little crib, let her stay!

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  7. The biggest benefit for my moving Charlotte to a bed is that she gets herself up now in the morning, and when we pick out her clothes the night before, she is up and dressed and ready to go for the day before I even open my eyes. She never tried to climb out of the crib either, and probably would have stayed in it forever (had to take out the mattress - look, it's broken!) but I really just hated waking up to her hollering to have me get her out of it every day.

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  8. so here's my story - atticus didn't climb out of his crib until about two months ago and my plan was always, always to keep him in there as long as possible. he loved the crib, it made him sleep longer, so why change??? especially with little brother being born, i figured that was changed enough for him. i was bummed he climbed out. then we moved and the crib is back in boston in storage and i was forced to buy him a toddler bed last week and let me say...i miss the crib! i'm not loving the midnight, 3AM, 5AM, anytime AM entrances into my bedroom! so much better when he would just jump around in his crib for a while and fall back to sleep. he's been very sleep deprived since leaving the crib. he is adjusting, it's getting better slowly but surely. but if i had a crib and he didn't climb out of it, you better believe he'd still be in there! so i'm on the "you're so stoked!" team. crib it until she's over it. that's my advice. pish posh on feeling ashamed - my little mommy secrets are far worse!

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  9. definately wait until AFTER the transition with the new baby. my oldest was in his crib when he was three. same thing- he never tried to climb out. i was worried about the adjustment, but it's been (mostly) great. especially at first. good luck!

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  10. I don't think that the crib is one of those things that you want to work on your kids getting rid of like other things like paci's and bottles, etc.. It's a bed and I don't think it is going to prohibit her from growing or developing normally. As long as she and you are happy with it, let it be!

    I took Oliver out of his crib and it changed my life. I am with Christina -- he would wake up and scream and holler until I got him and it was the most horrible thing in the world to wake up to! And in the night he would shriek when he woke up too. it scared the crap out of me all the time and my heart would pound and I would run in there so fast.

    anyway, he gets out on his own and that has it's own little problems, but I would much much rather him sleepily walking into my bedroom with his blanket and snuggling with me than screaming at me at 6 AM in the morning.

    If she is comfortable there, I would let her stay especially with the baby coming. There will be enough transitions as it is, keep things as normal as possible, if it works well.

    the end!

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  11. Both my boys in their crib well pass 3 =) Now that you see many of us are like you--I want to know a really mommy no no =)

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  12. paul and i still sleep in a crib. what? that's not weird, is it?

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  13. Cribs rule! Seriously, if Beanie is o.k. with it (truly wants her crib), don't worry about a thing. She might change her mind once Lamp arrives.

    I think the more "in control" a child feels over their life, the better. If something truly needs to be changed, parents are there to facilitate that need. Pick your main battles (the parenting points you won't budge on), and let the rest "go".

    "Love and Logic"...it's GREAT!

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  14. My guys were both 3 and in cribs. It's no big deal. We moved EG to a big bed because his brother arrived 3 months later. We made it a big deal, that he was getting a big boy bed for his birthday.

    Honestly, it was a pain. Most of the time (Likely being an exception) they still love being in the secure confines of a crib. We went straight from a crib to a twin.

    With our 3 year old still in a crib, and no baby on the horizon, I don't feel like moving him anytime soon. Maybe in six months. For now, we have the rail down and the bed lowered so he can climb in and out on his own.

    It's really not a big deal.

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  15. BIG DEAL.


    ( say that a lot .)

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  16. Like I said, feeling lots better here. I agree that this doesn't rank up there with some other mommy secrets, it's crazy that so many of you have 3 year olds in cribs because I honestly didn't know a single person before. Of course I couldn't think of any developmental reasons for taking her out, it still seemed a little behind the curve...probably because I didn't know anyone else.

    Maybe I should do a REAL mommy secrets post...mwuah hahaha

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  17. so glad you posted this. i am in the same dilemma. i part of me wants my daughter (who isn't quite 3)out before the baby comes, but i am not looking forward to the nights and naps. but, my daughter climbs out. yep. i like chelsea's idea, a bed tent. maybe. just maybe. i am so glad you posted this, because it helped me too.

    ps. your fam is in our thoughts and prayers

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  18. Good for you! Who cares...its not like you will be breaking it down to put in her college dorm...right???? :)
    This is from Rachael (Baglietto) but for some reason I am signed on as my daughters acct and don't know how to change it thru my phone and I am laying in bed with a nursing wee one!

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  19. Um, after our sleep fiasco last winter I'm planning on keeping Jonah in his crib (WITH a crib tent no less) until he's 10! Just kidding. Kind of.

    Just my opinion so take it for what it's worth, but I think consistency is a good thing with so many changes on the horizon- I wouldn't be in a rush to change a good thing. Let that mommy guilt run right off your back baby!

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  20. No advice here...but I would like to see the "Later picture" of Beanie in the crib nowadays! I can't quite picture it.

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  21. I plan on having my 3 year old sleep in the crib if it means consistent naps and sleeping schedule. Kidding, kind of. I still have Michael in a CRIB TENT if that's any consolation.

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  22. Anonymous3:45 PM

    Oh, thanks for posting this (years ago). My daughter is nearly three and I have no intention of getting rid of her crib before her birthday. She sleeps really well in it and has never tried to climb out. Actually I practically have to pry her out of it after naps and in the morning. A teeny bit of guilt about her still being in a crib has been creeping up in my mind, and this makes me feel better. She shall stay in her crib for a good long while yet!

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  23. Anonymous11:03 PM

    Thanks for this post. I Google 4-year-old still in crib because my son just turned three and I could totally see him wanting to stay in his crib forever, but I'm getting pressure from our parent educator in co-op preschool. We tried taking the side down once and he was up and down all night and wouldn't nap at all the next day. I think we're just going to stick with what lets us all get rest.

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  24. Anonymous1:09 PM

    Well, I'm the grandmother whose house gets torn apart because the mother of our 3 year-old granddaughter decided we must move the child's mattress to the floor because she is deemed incapable of sleeping another 1.5 feet higher on the frame and box spring of a "big girl bed". That the child still uses a pacifier, is in diapers 24/7, and melts down at the drop of a hat --- all icing on the cake of permissive parenting. Ladies, please stop stalling in the name of "it's easier on the child"! You're being lazy and trying to be your child's friend instead of his/her mother. Children need firm guidance, rules, and consequences. Get with it!

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