This Little Miggy Stayed Home: Little Miss Co-Dependant

Monday, March 24, 2008

Little Miss Co-Dependant

Little Beanie is growing up. As such, she is becoming increasingly more attached to her mama. In some ways this is very cute. She likes to cuddle with me a lot more. She likes just sitting on my lap, and now with "strangers" (even though these are people she sees all the time at church and around the neighborhood) she turns away in shyness and leans on mama's safe shoulder until the confrontation passes. Awwwwww. As with most things in life, this behavior has a down side. I believe she is sleeping worse, not always, but some nights. Waking more frequently and only going back down for a bottle or some mom time. Naps are still OK in general, but as I said some days it's a battle. (And she is definitely not ready to drop that second nap). Sometimes when waking from said nap, she is crying really hard--totally inconsolable--and it takes some serious hugs, hair stroking and tune humming to get her out of this mood. Also, I can't be out of her sight for 30 seconds, and usually that's not even enough...she likes to be held or comfortably sitting on my lap at all times. The funny thing is, I would expect that behavior at church or at the park where other people are around, but the I-need-to-be-held-all-the-times behavior is mostly at home. By ourselves. Anyway, it's a funny little stage. It seems that we've been having some serious ups and downs. She's doing some really cute stuff that just makes me laugh and smile one minute, followed by tantrums and frustration the next. I don't think it would be that bad if at least the sleeping at night was not still such an issue.

Sound familiar? Any advice or encouragement?


  1. Sounds familiar! I bet other moms have had the same experience the separation anxiety. Generally, they just out grow it.

    The nap thing? It's annoying, it really is, and I don't have any other way of dealing with it than you've described. When Guille was a little older, we'd make sure there was a snack ready right as he woke up, even older than that and we'd just open the door and told him he could come out when he was ready.

    I think this age can be hard because they *want* to communicate, but have a hard time doing so, so there are more tantrums and frustrations. I've thought about teaching a few signs to the boys just to ease from one year to two.

    I think we forget that these are little, tiny people that need a lot of reassurance and snuggling as they explore the world. It's like they need extra holding and loving by you the more interacting they do with the world, kind of a way to deal with the over stimulation.

    I don't think any of that helps per say, but sometimes it's nice to know you're not alone!

  2. It sounds very familiar! And it will pass...probably sooner than you expect. Most things (I've noticed in my son) last for 1-2 weeks, then they move on to a different stage. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Enjoy the cuddling while she is letting you do it!

  3. Thanks Ladies--a little validation goes a long way!

  4. A couple weeks ago I finished this great book by UCLA specialist Harvey Karp called "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" and he talks about the psychology of a toddler mind and special challengers toddlers have. Good stuff.

    (there's a DVD too, and it turns out one of my co workers was one of the families in it, and she said it was really helpful)

  5. Sofia was doing this awhile ago, but then she hit 1 1/2 and I can't even hold her without her going ballistic and yelling "dada, dada!" So, enjoy it while you can, cause the next minute they grow out of mama and only want dada :( I laughed yesterday and told Nate I am going to have to have another just to feel needed and loved again! Hopefully I will get a mama's girl sooner or later! I thought I had one, but she grew out of me. So sad. Dad gets all the hugs, kisses, and snuggling. She only wants me when she is hungry. I think you might just have a daddy's girl also. Give it a couple months and you will be begging her to come back to you :)

    The sleep habits are always changing over here. She is so much better now that we went to one nap a day. She sleeps better day and night now.