Monday, March 12, 2007

I'm Grumpy!


I don't have a lot of time for blogging right now, but I wanted to take a few minutes and post this picture of our little grumpy girl. She came out of the womb looking rather grumpy and serious and that seems to be her overall demeanor so far. . . and this picture just seems to say it all. I think it's hilarious and I just love the glare . . . she could freeze water with that look.

While I'm here I might as well put in a plug . . . I've already reached out to a couple of you moms out there, but if any other moms care to share their experiences and the ups and downs of being a new mom with me as well, please do. However, if you're one of those women who had a seamless transition and it all came super easy for you . . . please don't write. That's great if that was your experience, but I wouldn't be able to relate and hearing such things wouldn't be very helpful right now.

--Hugs and poopy diapers

12 comments:

  1. Hey--the picture doesn't work for me.

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  2. Anonymous12:27 PM

    She is unbelievably adorable:) She clearly wants to be back in the womb! Haha:) I also found the transition a tough one, and I think that going from a situation where I could take breaks when I needed them, eat when I wanted to, and basically do what
    I wanted to made a huge contrast with mommy-hood. Now our lives are completely wrapped around some very small fingers! I think that it gets better with each passing week, and that the baby's mood also improves at the same time. Mine is just starting to nap in the crib, but each week brings a new adjustment that will make things easier:) I love you, and you will be in my prayers, and hopefully, in my apartment soon!! I miss you!
    love, Suz

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  3. It does get easier, hang in there. The first few weeks, even month or two were difficult. Naturally, I was over the moon, but there were a few mitigating circumstances that made the whole process a lot harder.

    The best advice I ever received was that I was the mom and I knew best. My mom urged me to sit down, with the baby, take care of us and only us, and stop everything else. If I'd just listened to her instead of the doctors and experts, I would have been a lot happier a lot sooner.

    Let's not sugar coat it, this IS a VERY hard time. The transition is hard, the deprivation, the very real hormone crash, give yourself some time to adjust. It's good to recognize that it's NOT "all in your head" and that it WILL get better. Wish I could be there to help in person.

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  4. Oh Miggs. What a grab bag of emotions the first couple months are. I can remember thinking - THIS is what I signed up for? I also remember crying and crying at night while my baby cried because I just didn't know what to do and I was so frustrated.

    I also remember feelings of resentment toward my husband who was fast asleep in the other room and I was the one always up feeding and comforting the baby. At the time, David was a grad student waking up at 5 in the morning to commute to UPenn. I didn't feel like I could wake him.

    It gets easier with the baby when they get themselves on a schedule and understand their world a bit more. The adjustment to mommy-hood, however is a longer struggle. Max turns two this summer and I still am trying to find my place in this world and what Heavenly Father wants me to be and do. I feel like I am not contributing to the world as much as I once had and that is hard. But I have to remember that I am the world to Max and I need to be there for him.

    If there is anything you want specific advice on you can email me at tiffanyrueckert@hotmail.com

    I still would like to know your little girl's name when you have a second!

    My advice?

    Write in a journal. I got some of major feelings out in there and didn't dump on my husband as much as I had wanted to. I found it therapeutic. Also, take all advice given with a grain of salt. Everyone wants to help, but don't think you have to try everything they say.

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  5. That glare could freeze water! Good luck with everything, Amy. I don't have any advice because...I know absolutely nothing about children but I wanted to wish you luck anyway. I know you'll be a great mom!

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  6. Anonymous12:19 PM

    Amy, I don't know you, but I know Bracken, or did know Bracken (tell him I am Andrea's friend) and I found your blog by chance because my husband is good friends with Jean Lee, but can totally relate to feelings of being overwhelmed. I have a five month old and there are some days where I think I still have no idea what I am doing and don't think I am doing it right. The first 6 weeks are the hardest. My midwife said you feel like you are part of a UCLA sleep deprivation clinic and that is so true. But hang in there - one day you will wake up and realize she slept through one of her feedings and that is the best!

    First of all, congratulations. I am so happy for you two and wish I knew you better. Remember - everyone thinks it's so hard. Even those people who claim they have an angel baby and don't think it's hard have bad days, they are just too lame to admit it. Second, talk to a mom who has a young baby like you - sometimes moms with older kids tend to forget how hard it is and the exact feelings of being overwhelmed and emotionally, physically and spiritually drained. And also, hold them as much as you can - you can't spoil a little baby and they grow up so fast, just enjoy your little cuddler while you can! I agree with your friend who said trust yourself - every baby, every mom is different and the books, your friends, your parents, even your husband does not know your baby as well as you do. Good luck. If you ever have any questions, and don't feel weird asking someone you don't know (maybe Bracken can vouch for me) - my email is annaslow@gmail.com

    - Anna

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  7. Amy-
    we only met a few times in Utah but I found your blog through mutual friends and love it. I don't have kids of my own yet but seem to read a lot about babies on the internet. A friend from college has a blog where she talks a lot about her experiences with new mom-hood at kelliandbrad.blogspot.com. She also has a blog with friends where they exclusively talk about issues of motherhood at http://acheekyblog.blogspot.com/ I think their kids are all about a year old but they are really honest about some of the difficulties of having kids. Don't know if you'd find their stories applicable to your own but they always say misery (and joy) loves company!

    Good luck!
    -Brooke

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  8. Oh man--where to start.

    Thank you. Let me just tell you it helps so much to hear how hard it is from other moms who have been there. I think sometimes I just need to be reminded of that. It's funny because I don't feel like there's any rhyme or reason to her right now. . . sleep all day one day, stay awake for hours on end one day. . . eat a lot, eat a little, etc. I'm sure things will even out when she's a little older but right now it's just tiring and confusing. Luckily, I've had someone with me almost from the beginning--my moms here right now, my sis-in-law will be here next week--and it's still tough.

    OK--so I may email some of you directly for more advice or at least sharing your story, etc.

    Aria--good to hear from you. How are things? What's new with you?

    Anna--so glad to have support even if I don't know you! (B says hi BTW). Thanks for chiming in, it helps.

    Brooke--Hey! I totally remember you and was again pleasantly surprised to hear from you. Thanks for the links, I've already started reading.

    Azucar--I might need your email address too. I think you would have some good words for me.

    Suzi--You're my immediate therepist and I'm sure I'll see you tomorrow.

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  9. Wow, she looks a lot like Bracken, but they say that newborns tend to look more like daddy. She is funnnnny!!!! I want to meet her!

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  10. Allison3:56 PM

    She makes a great little New Yorker. So precious and grouchy all at the same time!

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  11. emma (former inwood 1st warder, now landed in NJ) here. my first little guy was excessively grumpy all the time and it was pretty obvious he would have been happier had he remained in the womb a couple of months longer. re-create the womb as much as possible...swaddle, swaddle, loud, loud noise. don't be afraid of bad habits--no such thing with a baby this young. you just have to cope/get through this truly impossible phase and you will be astounded at what you can handle after experiencing this. mommies with easy babies and/or no post-partum blues will never understand your pain, so you are correct to go straight to the ones who do so you don't get even more depressed thinking it's you who is doing something wrong.
    i feel your pain, way too intimately. never, ever experienced such depression and feelings of being overwhelmed with my life as I did in those first weeks after giving birth. being a successful, productive member of society prior to having a baby doesn't really help, because you have this false sense that you should be able to handle anything (I negotiated multi-million dollar contracts with fortune 50 companies, for heavens sake, and i couldn't even figure out how to take a shower more than once a week after i had my baby!) and then you are even more depressed when you can't handle taking care of the little person.
    so, this comment has now landed in the category of "overshare", but get in contact with me if you need to vent. heaven knows i'll understand.

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  12. Awesome picture! Hazel was the same way...so serious right off the bat. When she was first learning to talk, Kristen had her backstage at one of Sage's little school performances and some random lady came back to say something to Kristen and Hazel threw a crusty look at her and said, "Lady...you go away!" We still laugh about that one...

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