This Little Miggy Stayed Home: Dear Gwen,

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Dear Gwen,

We need to talk. I'm not saying I don't want to see you anymore, I just think we need some time apart. It feels like we're moving in two different directions.

I'm not sure what's going on with you these days, but it's starting to freak me out. I'm just not sure I can stand behind this new album. You know it's not that I'm a No Doubt purist or anything, I was all for your last solo album. I was the first person I knew who bought it. I didn't even listen to it beforehand . . . I just trusted you and you came through for me. I was your Hollaback Girl from day one. However, after hearing about the first single from this new album and the fact that you sampled The Sound of Music I found myself with doubt. I like The Sound of Music as much as the next girl, but it just seems wrong to turn something as wholesome and pure as the story of a former nun turned beloved stepmom to a family of musical orphans into a sexified, over-produced, wannabe hip-hop song. After listening to that I was scared. Really scared. What would the rest of the album sound like? Unfortunately Gwen, the rest of the album was even worse. You're better than that. You're not Fergie, so quit singing like her.

Additionally, what's with the parental advisory? You've got plenty of street cred, you don't need to go all 2LiveCrew on us. (Sigh). Anyway . . . I miss the old Gwen. Any of the old Gwens . . . remember this? Little bindi wearing, punk rock Gwen?

Oh and what about this. . .Return of Saturn, the pink hair? Brilliant. No one could pull off pink hair like you (although I tried).

Even the post-Rock Steady days. Love it.

Gwen, just call up the guys and lets get another No Doubt album in the queue. Seriously, I know you're itchin' to get the old gang together so lets just do it already. By then, I think I'll be ready to see where things go . . . nothing serious, but we could start hanging out again.

Take Care,


  1. Anonymous3:06 PM

    I am laughing so hard right now. You are so funny...

  2. Anonymous3:09 PM

    word. i still remember campus view days sitting and watching you personalizing shirts to throw to gwen on stage while listening to general conference (it seemed very appropriate at the time). will things ever be the way there were?

  3. Anonymous3:35 PM

    I hear that . . . celebrities need to remember the lesson of Michael Jackson. It doesn't matter how great you once were. . . if you start going all wacky, no one's gonna stick behind you. Being the once great "King of Pop" doesn't save a sucky album and a sketchy (to say the least) personal life.

    and thanks for the reminder. . . I think I have a shirt to finish.

  4. When I saw her on SNL the other day I honestly thought, "I wonder how down Miggy is with this. I think I'm out. Will Miggy stick by Our Gwen even through this?"

    I guess the answer is no. That's kind of a relief.

  5. p.s. How are you dealing with The OC news?

  6. Anonymous9:48 AM

    You have to draw the line somewhere. . . the OC . . . we're not really into it these days. I've watched it a little, but it's prolly for the best. I will miss Seth though.

  7. This season has been great, best in a while! I'm glad they're leaving on a high note.